The story of hope
Once upon a time, there was a little girl. She was lost, alone, and confused about the world and humanity. She had many disappointments in life. She has been told that she had a good childhood. Of that, she can’t remember much. She can however remember a happier time before things got worse… Mom and Dad fought a lot until one day when Mom left with a few suitcases and didn’t return. Dad took care of them and made sure they had everything they needed. But in the process, she lost some best friends and she started to withdraw from society. If her mom didn’t love her anymore, how could anyone else?
Now, to fast forward a bit, Mom returned eventually but there were going to be some changes. Dad ensured that if they were going to be a family again, they would be better at it this time. Everybody had some compromises to make. And for the little girl, one compromise was trust. She had to trust again even though she did it in vain. Her heart was already broken, she had already been abandoned and she had no idea why and if it was her fault. At the age of ten, the world showed her how ugly it could be and that she would have to fight for survival.
Years passed, the family was held together by newfound faith and somehow things got better. And better. Until there were no more physical scars left. Emotionally she was dealing with things difficult to talk about. Those scars were a bit harder to patch up.
She turned to music, drawing, and writing to block out the emotional pain she was feeling and dealing with. Dad came home one day with a typewriter and that was the best gift she had ever received. She wrote about anything and everything. Some pieces she would tear into tiny pieces so no one could ever see what she was feeling, and some pieces she kept safe.
School to this little girl was hard. Kids were bullying each other, there were groups forcing other kids to do things that were against everything they stood for, think a certain way, dress a certain way, and at times she would see children transform from innocent and nice to barely tolerable. She hated everything about it but because of all this conflict, because of her lack of self-confidence, she never said anything. Long after school, she hated herself for that and she made a promise to herself that she would never stand by and watch anything like that again. She would stand up for what she believes in!
Now, what did she believe in, you may ask?
Well, her journey of believing started in high school. Unaware of it, but it started! You get to choose your subjects in high school as if they matter. But if we are all honest, you should first make a decision based on the Teacher teaching the subject, and whatever the subject is, the kids will survive. Any subject is teachable, but moral values, basic thinking, humanity, confidence, and valuable life lessons are not something anyone can teach.
So as this little girl, now a teenager, got to the point of choosing subjects, there were very few choices. The situation she found herself in was a bit of a muddle. With one subject left to fill, there were three choices. Now, one of them was out of the question. She was never going to go there. The other subject was very attractive but the teacher was a total disaster and unable to teach anything, let alone a subject. That left her with the last subject and well, let’s just say that was supposed to be a no-go as well. Accounting was something she never showed interest in, and the teacher… Well, she talked way too fast; she walked like she had a purpose; she was determined and she was very intimidating. She scared the shit out of this girl. After long consideration, she decided she would much rather shrink away in accounting and do her bit than walk into the lion’s den with the other options.
The first day of high school came for her and much to her surprise there were only three students in accounting. Choices were made, now she had to face the consequences and by the count of it, there was no hiding in this class. And so, her journey to recovery began. What she didn't know then was that there is always a Higher Power in charge. Yes, she made the decisions but that was exactly where God wanted her, and most likely pushed her in that direction so that she could heal. Within the first few months, accounting was her worst, yet favorite subject. What she learned in accounting for the following five years had nothing to do with accounting and everything about life. With such a phenomenal teacher, accounting was a fun subject. So yes, there were some figures and calculations but that was easy. The hard part was life. For the first time since that little girl’s heart got broken by a family that never meant for it to happen, she started believing in a better life. She started trusting in people again... She started dreaming again… about life, about passions, about the future, about what life could be.
She believed again! She believed in hope, miracles, second chances, and she started believing in herself.
That teacher did not only teach. She lived a life that saved this little girl’s future. She made her believe in good again. For five years she took the heart that was lifeless and she gave it a new beat. But the little girl had no idea what was happening. She was evolving slowly so she couldn’t necessarily see the difference. But she could feel something changing.
She matriculated in 2007 and she went into the world with
A full heart
A healthy mind
Many wonderful examples
A mentor who changed her life
A family that loved her
A future that was unknown and scary, yet exhilarating
Dreams so big she had no idea if they could even ever come true
A newly-born confidence
And of course, a National Senior Certificate
• • • • •
After living life for many years, this little girl was finally asked if she could say anything, what would she say?
And this was what she had to say.
“My childhood was not all bad, in fact, I had a good one. Better than most kids. I have a loving family and we get along very well. Looking back now, I know I was born into my family for a reason. What I wanted to become took hardship, tears, and struggles because I was going to be a fighter. I was going to be better so I had to endure much more than the ordinary person … unless I was going to be basic, normal, or average. But my dreams were bigger. How fortunate was I to meet a person that, unfortunately, I know nothing of, but unknowingly held my hand through hard, sad, and happy times.
Going through the transformation I went through I could not have asked for a better mentor. Kind, loving, and yet determined, go-getter, smart, loyal, funny, and above all she was a badass woman who fought for everything that was right, and yet, she left some room for sadness, growth, and pain. Back then it was hard to grasp, but today I know that most of my growth took place during hardships, pain, and difficulties filled with sadness. All of that made me who I am today so only now, do I understand that part of her.
The world is complex and it has never been anything other than that. I am glad I got to experience all of it and that I had a mentor who was a real person, a woman, a wife, and a mother who lived life in its deepest meaning, to take me from the darkness I was living in and show me the light I thought would never exist for me again.
This is my tribute, to you.
Thank you, for being who you were (and who you are). My life's journey was based on a lot of things you showed, lived, said, and taught. Thank you, for teaching me how to do life again and how to stand tall in the real world. Thank you for showing me vulnerability. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn’t. Thank you for sending me into the world with everything I needed, from trust; hard work; work ethic; determination; kindness, and most of all how to be a human again.
Appreciating you came too late. It came when I needed to stand on my own, make my own decisions, and realize that I am my own person. That is when I realized what formed me, what had an impact on my life, and how I have changed. But nevertheless, it was probably just in time!
I am sorry that I never got to know you better because I am sure that what you showed us, as students, was only a fraction of the person you are. And I wish I could’ve had more of you, but what I was given I am happy to take!
Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a song for the sequel of Phantom of the Opera, Love Never Dies. And a part of the song will always stick with me:
“We love, we live
We give what we can give
And take what little we deserve”
I can only hope and pray that one day, I can also be a mentor to someone as you were to me.”
• • • • •
And this little girl, now a grown woman, sat there in silence. She said all she could and yet it doesn’t seem to be enough. But you could tell from the look on her face, the smile on her mouth, and the sparkling glimpse in her eyes, that she said all that needed to be said.
She was satisfied, happy, abundantly blessed, and content.
She is still not where she wants to be and her dream is to keep on growing and to be better at living a full happy life every day. Someone once told her; you need to be better today than you were yesterday.
And this little girl said, that if she can give anyone advice: "and take it with a pinch of salt if you must" She added...
She said: “Keep on dreaming because that dream will someday become your reality. And when that happens, you dream again but bigger. And should there come a day when dreams are all that’s left, at least you will have a whole life full of them!”
• • • • •
This little girl received the greatest gift of all time. She was part of a bargain in a transaction by the Grace of God and it turned out that she not only received interest on interest, but she gained assets that increased her life’s worth!
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